Archive for the ‘Missing Your Ex’ Category

After a tough breakup, you will naturally focus on the  past memories of your ex (frankly you can’t help it), ‘what could have’ or ‘should been done differently, what’s happened…and how you ended up where you are today.

You many have even started thinking about past relationships, the things that could have been done differently if you ‘done or said things’ at the right time (let’s be honest there’s no right time, you can do what’s right at the time. So don’t be hard on yourself!!).

As with all break ups, after awhile, you start moving on  – it’s no longer the painful open wound it once was.  As it’s no longer the your primary focus in your life, calmness replaces that tornado of feelings you once had, and you can even think to yourself. Now, what’s next?

It’s time to take stock from the ‘ghosts or the past relationships’ and wonder, are there some common patterns that keep happening over and over again?  If so, what could they be?  Sometimes a period of quite reflection can just what you need to regroup and know what you ‘do and don’t want’ in your next relationship.  After all, it takes a brave person to stop and stand still before jumping into there next relationship.

But when you’re ready (you will know when that will be!) Now, is time for you to smile and move on again.  That past relationship really doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. Your past does no longer linger on because you have left that person where they belong- in the past.  You can even start to be objective and honest about this former lover and wonder what was so ‘attractive about this person in the first place’

So at that stage, you’ll want to start ‘getting out there’ and want to  meet someone new-  still you should be careful to not fall into the same traps of past mistakes.  Set some standards about ‘what you want in your next relationship’ and stick to them.  Relationships are ‘give and take’; still, you have to have ‘boundaries and deal breakers’ to protect yourself.  This will prevent from going for someone who does not possess those qualities you’re looking for and prevent you from repeating patterns which only harm and not help you.

And when you are sure enough about what you really want- don’t compromise.   Do something as simple as making a list of all your expectations; this will prevent you from making bad decision and compromising your happiness by choosing the wrong one, the second time around.

This is why a break up a can be best thing to happen you because it can be an opportunity to grow discover the most important person in your life – YOU!  And you will be grateful your ex ended with and gave you the opportunity to meet the person you meant to be with.